What Drives Your S.ex Up With Your Partner

What Drives Your S.ex Up With Your Partner

Question. My husband love to have s.ex almost every time of the day and

I dont like to,even before we got married I do not

like to have s.ex.

What could be the reason for all of this ? 

I am very glad that you are asking for feedback about your

se.xual relationship with your husband because the patterns in your

marriage are so common that others reading your letter and my response

might benefit greatly.

First of all, know that testosterone , one of the hormones responsible

for sex drive,is 20-40% more prevalent in men than women. Though it is

not always the case, it is very common for men to desire se.x more

often than their wives. This gender difference often creates problems

in marriages, particularly when people blame each other for being

different. Men think their wives are passionless and women think their

husbands are se.x maniacs. 

When men and women have substantially different se.x drives, something

interesting happens. Most women need to feel close to their partners

emotionally to desire se.x. Women need to spend time with their

partners, to communicate on a deep level and feel like they're team

mates in regards to housework and kids and so on. All this has to be

in place for most women to really desire their men. 

Men, on the other hand, generally need to feel close to their

partners physically before they invest a great deal of energy into

their relationships. So she's waiting for him to be more intimate

emotionally and he's waiting for her to be more tuned into him

physically and the resentment that results in this waiting game is so

huge, it's beyond belief.

That being said, it's really important for both of you to become more

understanding of each other. This means you both need to try to

imagine what it would be like to live in each others shoes for a

while. He probably walks around feeling that if you loved him more,

you would be more sensitive to his needs. He undoubtedly feels hurt

and rejected and might even question his s.ex appeal. 

You probably feel that if he loved more, he would be satisfied having

s.ex once or twice a week. He would also be more responsive to the other

issues concerning you in your marriage that you alluded to in your

message. You also probably walk around feeling bad that he never seems

satisfied,that no matter what you do, he's always unhappy. This isn't

a pleasant feeling when you love your partner.

Since I don't have his ear, I'll direct my advice towards you. Here

are some ways to make him feel better about your s.exual relationship:

1. Flirt with him

Do you remember the early part of your relationship? Even though you were

never highly sexed, didn't you flirt more in the beginning, pat him on

the butt, tell him he looks great, and so on. This makes a difference.

2. Put other things aside and make time.

Sometimes, women place too much priority on everything else they have

to do and make their sexual relationships last on their lists. Examine

if this is true for you. If so, other things can wait. Your marriage

can be better than ever if you reprioritze your time.

3. Even if you're not in the mood, do it anyway...sometimes

So many women have told me that they can jump start their s.ex drive by

just getting started. Once they're into it...they're into it.

4. Consider just pleasing him

If you're really not in the mood for sex, your husband may be satisfied

if you do something nice for him once in a while.

5. Discover new ways to rev up your interest.

Let's face it, girl, after so many years of marriage, you might

need something new to renew your interest. Cast your inhibitions to the

wind and experiment with anything that might intrigue you.